Aussie Curves: Swimwear

Last summer I lived across the road from the beach and was there nearly every day - snorkeling usually. Swimming is my thing. However, in July I moved house and I'm almost ashamed to say that I haven't been to the beach yet this summer, despite being only a 5 minute drive away! I've been to the pool quite a bit, but I usually go on my own. So please forgive my backyard swimwear posts, with stupid chickens who don't care that I'm trying to capture some glam. Also, since seeing these photos, I've decided that my boyfriend is going to have to go back to being my photographer because using the self-timer application just isn't giving me the crisp photo finish that I'm used to. I usually hate it when bloggers apologise for stuff in their photos, like: "sorry about the mess on the floor" - I just tend to think...well...CLEAN IT UP or just don't mention it all. Pretend it doesn't exist and then your readers are more likely too as well. But I really do want to acknowledge that I know these photos could be better. Hopefully you can look past it to seeing how cute this swimsuit is.

swimsuit SWIMSUITS FOR ALL (gifted) || sarong SEAFOLLY

I've gone for a bit of a pinup style, with the halter neck, polka dot and cute little skirt. It's navy blue  with pink polka dots, and very comfortable! It's called the Shore Club Cotton Candy Bandeau/Halter Swimdress, from Swimsuits For All.

I've blogged a lot about body confidence and swimwear in the past, but I wanted to add a few personal thoughts I've had lately. Last summer I felt pretty confident on the beach, something I had worked very hard to achieve. However, my body has changed since then and I've had to face old demons all over again. Taking off the sarong was not easy for me. Learning to value yourself - ALL OF YOURSELF - including your body - is such a lifelong process, isn't it? As Meagan Kerr said on her swimwear post, "you can’t sit there and worry about what other people might think of you – you just have to live your life. They don’t care if you miss out on swimming with your kids or splashing about with your friends… but you sure will." 

I really hope that this summer, I continue to not give a f**k.

Thanks for reading! x

5 tips on how to deal with your wardrobe after a weight gain

I've put on weight. There, I said it. I don't know how much because I don't own scales, but I feel it in my clothes and see it in the photos. Call it winter weight, too much booze or just too-damn-cold-to-want-to-leave-my-couch. It's happened. 

The past few months have been a bit tricky in regards to navigating the wardrobe. I've had to really think about how my weight fluctuations were going to affect the organisation of my clothes, my pretties. I know I'm not the only one who's faced this situation; the terrible stream of emotions that course through your veins when suddenly there's a muffin top when you pull on your favourite skirt or jeans. It can by soul destroying. 

So in response to this situation, I'm going to share the tips that have helped me to get through it unscathed. 

1. SORT

Pull out every item of clothing that no longer fits you and arrange them into piles on your bed: 

Ditch, Donate, Sell, Store. 

Why? Because it's very important not to have your ill-fitting clothes within your sight everyday. If you have to stare daily at a dress you love, but no longer fit in, it will create negative emotions before you even start your day. Ain't nobody got time for that! Even those of us who love our bodies at every size are not immune to bad days, when it's like there's a neon sign in your wardrobe flashing "FAT = FAILURE!"

The clothes in the "Ditch" pile are the ratty tatters that aren't even fit to donate. I'm talking knickers with holes, t-shirts stretched out of shape, singlets with rips that you wouldn't bother to repair, bras with broken underwires. 

The "Donate" pile is for all the clothes that are good, but not clothes that you paid a fortune for and could get back some extra cash if you sold them. For me, these clothes are good, but I originally didn't pay much for in the first place. Think last season's Target/Kmart/BigW stuff. 

The "Sell" pile is for the items that were pricey at the time, but you've fallen out of love with. There is eBay and Facebook buy and sell pages for that stuff. If you can't be bothered taking photos of the items, uploading them and arranging postage, think garage sales and car boot markets. 

The "Store" pile is for clothes that you still adore, but don't fit in. Box them up carefully and find a dry, safe place for them. There's a chance you might fit into them again one day, or maybe you'll simply want to fondle and touch them because you love them so much and there are sentimental memories attached. But you don't want them staring you in the face everyday screaming, "You're too fat for me!"

2. BUY

You need to feel excited about your wardrobe again! You may be fortunate enough to have the money to do this. If not, use the money you make from the "Sell" pile. Start building up a collection of beautiful clothes that fit you. Op shops (Savers!) and ASOS are my main go-to, which aren't pricey.  City Chic is great for a few standout pieces if you don't have the extra cash to splurge. And of course the many, many other plus size online and in-store places.

3. EXPERIMENT

With the changes in my body, I've found that some of the styles I used to love now don't look quite right. As a result, I've been experimenting with other looks, and loving it! I've actually bought two pairs of jeans which I wear regularly. I never used to wear pants unless they were trackies! Sometimes you have to play around with fashion before you feel like you own it. There were a few times when I felt a bit helpless, like I'd lost control, because my body had changed and fashion wasn't working for me like it used to. I suddenly felt uncomfortable in things I used to live in. I had to shift my thinking and try new things. 

4. GET INSPIRED

Find fashion blogs by people who are the same size as you. While I like to find inspiration in all kinds of places and from bloggers of all shapes and styles, it's also important to see your body type represented in ways that you can visualize and connect to instantly. It's also great because sometimes we tend to think that we will never be as happy or as stylish as we were when we were thinner. Seeing smiling fashion bloggers of your size, experimenting and loving their bodies, is enough to pull you out of your despair and see things from a different perspective. 

5. EMPOWER YOURSELF

It's easy to love your body when it remains the same, or you're losing weight. When you are gaining weight, it is an act of absolute courage. You are not alone and there are resources for you. There are body-positive books, blogs and videos at your fingertips. It might be just the thing to get your joy back and unlock some happiness. Check out my Body Love Book Reviews for some ideas. This video might be a good place to start too:

I'm going to finish up with a quote from @honorcurves. She said in a post recently, 

"As they say, never look back, unless it's to check out your own beautiful butt in the mirror. Mine has gained a few inches recently and I love it nonetheless. Love yourself through every fluctuation. Loving myself as much when my pants don't do up as when they do is a huge piece of the learning journey for me. I have to smile at myself and love myself after a gain because that is what will help me to move into healthier ways of living my life and just loving myself as is, always. If I can't see my beauty or I feel like I've failed, that's when I often really put the boots to myself in terms of decision-making. I don't want to put the boots to myself when I've gained some weight. Ever in my life again. I want to accept my gains and losses as natural parts of life. As an ever-fluctuating human body, I am going to have weeks where I eat more and work out less and vice versa. I'm as beautiful on whatever week it is, and wherever my body is in that week."

Thanks for reading x

What You See...

 

Take a minute to read this amazing comic by The Oatmeal. 

You're welcome :)

Dear 16 Year Old Sophie

Dear 16 Year Old Sophie,

One day you will be 29, but you’ll still have a ridiculously loud laugh and a considerable amount of chub (sorry about that), and you’ll be happy. I have a few things I’d like to let you in on.

The next few years living with mum, dad and Shaun will be rough, but things get totally rad when you rent a unit on the beach with Janelle and Ali. You’ll be apprehensive about Ali at first because you don’t really know her, but you’ll become great friends and her influence will change your opinion and views on something that will allow someone pretty special to enter your life (more on that later). The single life with these babes will be fucking amazing.

You won’t ever be skinny, so get over “the fantasy of being thin” and focus on accepting and loving yourself. You will find a form of exercise you like and gradually make steps toward a healthier you. Don’t start smoking when you drink, because you’ll really, really like it and find the habit difficult to shake. Oh, and the words, “When I lose weight I will…” are the most toxic and limiting words you can say to yourself. You can. NOW. And you will…

Ditch the baggy Disney t-shirts and cargo pants combo. I know it’s the 90s, but you can totally rock a crop top. This awkward stage will go for a lot longer than the average teenage girl because of your size, but that will pass and you’ll sure as hell make up for lost time. That pair of vintage Doc Marten T-bars you’re about to buy (because they’re the only shoes in the boutique that fit your size 11 feet) are the first really sound fashion decision you make. Go you! Don’t despair the lack of cute clothes in your size. Things get better. More options become available. Remember those tears you cried in the David Jones changing room? Yeah well – one day you will have a fashion blog because of ALL THE PRETTY THINGS! Astonishing, right? There will come a day when plus size women will find their style and confidence. Be patient.

Don’t take church so seriously – it’s not your part time job. Right now it’s your “everything” and one day you will realize that you threw your life into it because it allowed you to hide from a world you were fearful of. Keep your faith close to your heart, don’t allow yourself to be pressured by church leaders and always, ALWAYS think for yourself. Listen to your instincts. If your favourite band comes to town on a Friday night, skip youth group (STOMP was it?) and go. You’ll regret those lost opportunities.

You will experience a few years of unemployment throughout university that will get you down a bit, but don’t stress – you’ll end up with a few casual jobs to juggle. Mum is right – you’ll ditch the social work and become a teacher, but you’ll also delve into some other arenas too! I have to leave a few surprises…

You think about sex quite a bit and feel guilty because only boys think about sex that much. You’ll soon learn how bullshit that is and that your thoughts are perfectly normal and healthy and one day you will grieve the amount of time you felt guilty for things you believed were sinful (which aren’t).

Keep reading! It’s your lifeblood. Lori Wick is not the only good author, though. And get your hands on some feminist material. It will make you a better person in a hundred different ways.

Don’t stress about romance. Guys at church don’t look at you, so you worry about not being the “Brooke Fraser” type of girl. I know you feel undesirable most of the time, but you’ll unleash your inner bombshell eventually (and kiss lots of boys). And best of all – you will meet THE BOY - a really sweet one, who is obsessed with cars and sticking googly eyes on things and YOU. He’ll be cheeky and fun and make you laugh all the time.

You and your sister Chelsea end up being pretty close (your boyfriends will get along great too). You won’t mind hanging out with Shaun and your relationship with your mum and dad end up being pretty rad.

At this moment, when you walk into a room full of people, you look around and you wonder, with apprehension, if they will like you. Now, when you walk into a room full of people, you wonder if you will like them. Because you are the shit (in a totally healthy, self-love kind of way, haha!).

Love, 29 Year Old Sophie

 

This post was inspired by Rachele's over at The Nearsighted Owl (here)

Aussie Beach Babes #1 - Beach Confidence!

When the people over at Swimsuits For All approached me to be involved in an Aussie Beach Babes challenge with three other Aussie bloggers, I was so excited that a little bit of pee came out. Okay, maybe not THAT excited, but definitely thrilled! I live right on the beach and regularly swim laps at my local swimming pool after work most days, so I'm always on the lookout for cute and practical swimwear. I've often lurked the Swimsuits For All website, and I'm so glad I finally took the plunge (pun intended) and gave them a go!

But....

Then I realised that I'd actually have to model swimwear (eek). However, before I got to the photo-taking part, I had a good month of trying each pair out; for the swimsuits to become a staple part of my wardrobe and take a place of pride in my "swimming drawer". 

I am in love with my swimsuits and can't wait to show them all to you! 

For this first post, I wanted to write a little bit about beach confidence and what I've learned. I used to be the girl who would never swim without a t-shirt and board shorts. Somehow that changed. My sister helped me with this post and taking the photos, and we had a great conversation about body confidence. My sister is a very different shape to me, and by no means "plus size", but she's still had her struggles and insecurities despite that. It's funny how we can think that people who seem to have the perfect body don't struggle with body confidence. It's just not true. 

Here are our sisterly tips on how to get your bod in a swimsuit and down the beach without a freak out!

1. It all goes downhill from here. Yep, when you're pushing past 50, you may just wish that you had your current body back and had enjoyed it a little more instead of criticizing it for its perceived flaws. Think of your body in terms of the enjoyment and movement it can give you, not in terms of body-fat ratio.
2. Don't assume that everybody on the beach is some "enemy" out to judge every roll of fat. It's just not the case! And even if someone does look at you and has a judgmental thought, they'll probably either keep it to themselves (as they should) or they'll get bored and move on to think about something else. Or there's the possibility that someone might look at you and think, "Her swimsuit is cute," or "I admire her confidence." You can't assume that everyone who looks at you is thinking something negative. Also, don't judge other bodies. Be the change you want to see.
3. Have a few comebacks ready in your mind just in case someone does say something. I've made up my mind that if someone is ever rude to me, I will come out on top with my witty response. No more 'ducking-my-head-in-shame-because-I-deserve-it' bullshit.
4. When it comes to the beach, all bets are off. Everyone has a right to wear what they want and bask in the sun. Including YOU. 
5. I tend to be an "all or nothing" type person and used to believe that to prove I was body confident, I would have to go dramatically from wearing t-shirts and knee-length board shorts to wearing a bikini. It's simply not the case! Small steps of courage are okay. Start with a cover-up over a one-piece, or a bikini top with board shorts. Don't feel guilty for not being "body confident" enough. It's about finding what works for you.
6. Read fashion blogs by people of all sizes. Seeing other plus size babes confident on the beach will inspire you to do the same.

wrap: swimsuits for all (here) || board shorts: swimsuits for all (here)

bikini top: asos (here) || necklace: lovisa || headscarfe: oh honey hush (here)

This cover-up is so perfect for the beach, I just love it! The board shorts were part of a duo, but I wanted to bare a bit more skin today. I love these board shorts because they have built in knickers and POCKETS. Soooo good! The matching tankini is pretty cute too, though. You can find the entire swimsuit combo here.

Here's my sister in the same cover up but in a Valley Girl bikini. She's my love! :)

As always, thank you for reading! xx

Want to join us? Simply tag your Beach Babe photo on instagram and use the hashtags #S4ADownUnder #s4aAussieBeachBabe

 

Aussie Curves: Tee

O.M.G.

I saw this t-shirt on Instagram and knew instantly that I HAD TO HAVE IT. I searched this sucker down on eBay and BAM! bought the darn thing. 

This was the original pic I saw online (source). I thought, "This guy! Is AWESOME!" He doesn't let the chubs (or the bastards) get him down. He knows how to party with the best of them. I really admire that kind of freedom and confidence to declare, "Here I am, taking up space. I know I'm fat and I own that shit! Ain't nobody gotta hold that against me!"

So here's me, getting my hands on a bit of that attitude!

t-shirt: eBay

skirt: ASOS CURVE

boots: THRIFTED

jewellery: LOVISA, DIOR

Sometimes, as victims of a body shaming culture, we can get so down about our bodies and give it way too much thinking space in our minds. Sometimes you just have to stare your chub down and laugh. Remind yourself that your capacity to be kind, smart, generous and thoughtful is so much more valuable than your capacity to be thin. Word. 

Thanks for reading! x

Aussie Curves: Vulnerable Side

Midriff! So, here we are returning to 90s fashions. How awesome is this! Mainly because in the nineties I thought I was too fat for crop tops and short skirts and now I don't care and I'm so effing proud of my body. 

This crop has made it's way around body positive circles, because it's well...amazing. I first saw it on Instagram and hunted it down at Gisela Ramirez, but it had sold out! I kept checking back and one day it was available, so I quickly bought it. When it arrived in the mail, I received an apology from Gisela saying that the one in the package was the last one, and it was technically "secondhand" because it was worn by the model. She also fully refunded me the money, so basically I got this top FOR FREE! Yay!

When I first wore this out, I was TERRIFIED. I was headed to TGIF for drinks with friends and I literally sat in the car for 10 minutes, building up the courage to get out of the car. I even considered driving home to change! 

But do you know what? With each step to the bar, I felt more and more badass! It was a defining moment for me - a true moment of empowerment. All this body positive "talk" was put into action and it felt totally liberating. If people were looking or staring, they hid it well, because I didn't feel any disapproving stares. I think if it was just a plain crop top, people might think, "She shouldn't be wearing that", but the words "F*ck Flattering" are perfect in communicating the message that I very deliberately chose this top because I'm challenging a beauty standard. And people like that! 

There's also been some interesting discourse around the word "flattering". When you try something on in the shops and the shop assistant says to you, "That's so flattering on you!" you know what she really means is, "That makes you look thinner". That kind of talk really works against the fat-positive/body-acceptance movements, because the implication is that fat bodies are shameful and need to be hidden. That word is no longer a part of my vocabulary.

So here's me with my soft, pudgy midriff, just begging to be poked and squeezed! Lovely!

crop top: GISELA RAMIREZ

skirt: ASOS CURVE

watch: LOVISA

lippy: INGLOT

Thanks for reading! x

 

Why Fashion Blogging Is Important To Me

I came across this comment on the Independent Fashion Bloggers website by someone called Selma:

I think that fashion blogging becomes totally insane, are you people really really convinced that everybody in the world of internet is searchin’ for FASHION TIPS, OUTFITS, CATWALKS AND MORE? OMG!! NO! I am sorry but fashion blogging has become the hypocrite side of the internet.
Fashion blogs were interesting when genuine, “pure”, but today it’s a business, who cares?
Everybody has a personal style, of course, but I don’t know why everybody necessarily have to become a business blogger or a fashion icon or..
I find very insane all that stressed life around smartphones, Instagram, Fashion blogs, no, this is not a real useful sharing, it’s a self-centered world. No interesting in real sharing, no interesting in real conversation.
I am sorry fashion blogger, web doesn’t need you all, do you realize how many thousand blogs are online? How can you think that blogging could be a chance? It’s over now, let’s take a look outside and please, put off you computer.

My first response to this comment was to smile. I found it really funny! And then I realised that it actually provides a wonderful springboard for discourse around why I have this blog and what it has meant to me to be a part of the Aussie Curves community. I don't know the future of my blog or how long I'll keep going with it, but I do know that it's changed me as a person since I started. For the good.

"Are you people really really convinced that everybody in the world of internet is searchin’ for FASHION TIPS, OUTFITS, CATWALKS AND MORE?" - Great point, Selma, and this question bounced around in my mind a fair bit when I first started my blog. Would people actually read or care about my blog? At first I was convinced that I was only doing this for myself and that if no one ever read my blog, I'd be okay with that. But I know that's not true anymore. Community means a lot to me, and just as I love and want to be a part of other blogs that I admire, so I want others to be a part of mine. But I also understand that this is a niche topic. Fashion is a specialized corner of the internet, and plus size fashion even more so. Added to that, I have a full time job and I don't have a "professional" goal for my blog. Who knows, that could change, but for now I'm not interested in turning my blog into a business. For that reason, I don't particularly feel pressure for "everybody in the world of internet" to discover my blog. I'd much rather have you lovely folk who come here because you want to! 

"Everybody has a personal style, of course, but I don’t know why everybody necessarily [has] to become a business blogger or a fashion icon" -Well, Selma, I know of maybe two other Adelaide fashion bloggers? In my city, there aren't many of us, actually. And I can dream a little, can't I? Haha! If an icon is defined as someone who is a representative symbol of something, then a fashion icon might be defined as someone who leads in fashion circles; who is innovative in their fashion choices; who despite dressing stylishly is still able to have a unique and celebrated "look". I'd also see a fashion icon as someone who has the confidence and gumption to make almost anything they wear look good! Do you have to achieve this on a national or worldwide scale to achieve "icon" status? How is icon status measured? Because I know that in my workplace I'm considered somewhat of a "fashion icon", so to speak, or at least "that teacher that wears cool clothes". It was a friend at work that told me to start a fashion blog in the first place. But at the end of the day, not everyone has to be a fashion icon, but we all have the freedom to start a fashion blog if that's something that is an area of interest or passion. I didn't even start my blog with the intention of being a fashion icon. Not all of us do.

"I find [it] very insane all that stressed life around smartphones, Instagram, Fashion blogs...this is not a real useful sharing, it’s a self-centered world. No interesting and real sharing, no interesting real conversation" - I was concerned for some time that starting a fashion blog would be a narcissistic thing to do. This doesn't bother me anymore because, as Naomi Wolf (The Beauty Myth) puts it, “A woman-loving definition of beauty supplants…narcissism with self-love.” Being a part of the plus size fashion blogging world has taught me to value myself. It's given me a voice in a "notoriously fat-loathing fashion industry". I think plus size blogging is very different to standard blogging, because in a lot of ways it is a fight; it is defiance. It's standing together to demand more of fashion, to share ideas and to "own" it. In a culture that often forgets or completely excludes the plus size shopper, this is a corner of the internet where we all have a voice. That sounds like "interesting and real sharing" to me.

 

"I am sorry fashion blogger, web doesn’t need you all, do you realize how many thousand blogs are online?" - Well, no man is an island. I'm glad I'm not the only blog online. What's the fun in that? Where's the community in that? We are each like snow flakes, no two of us the same, and I enjoy reading other blogs. That aside, there's actually room for all of us. There will be people who will visit my blog and never return because, shock horror, they didn't like it. Different blogs appeal to different people. What happened to having an abundance mentality? It's not like other blogs are going to drain mine. You could even say that because of the Aussie Curves community and linkytool, more blogs grow my blog. Aussie Curves has brought a lot of traffic and life to my blog.

"How can you think that blogging could be a chance?" - I suppose Selma thinks that everyone who starts a fashion blog is looking to be famous. While I've no doubt that many of us would like to be recognised on the street from time to time, if I wanted to be famous that badly, I wouldn't do it by starting a fashion blog. Especially if I wanted instant fame. Many of the notorious fashion blogs I follow have openly talked about the years, tears, sweat and perseverance that it has taken to get their blog to where it is now. It's not easy fame.

I'd just like to conclude my post by avidly thanking you for reading this, because without my readers, I probably wouldn't have had the motivation to continue with my blog. YOU are what makes this worthwhile. I read every comment you leave and I try to support your blogs as much as I can because this community is important to me. Thanks xx

Don't Just "Get Over It"

“I believe that the movement to use fatshion to forcefully insert ourselves into mainstream culture happens in three stages: being seen, standing out and getting loud.” – Lesley Kinzel

A few months ago, a friend of mine had a bit of a go at me about my stance on body positivity and body shaming (mind you, this friend has enjoyed not only thin privilege her entire life, but also a beauty that has placed her at a huge advantage in the world). Exasperated, she said something along the lines of, “Who cares? No one cares about your body shape, so just get over it”.

I was pretty gutted.

I’ve been in something of a quandary since those words. I’ve questioned my blog and I’ve been pretty quiet on Instagram. Maybe no one really does care. Maybe others think my views are silly and trivial. Maybe the solution to fat phobia, body shaming and narrow cultural beauty standards is just to “not think about it”, to let it go, stop talking about it and quit the discourse. To just have an attitude of “she’ll be right, mate”, or “first world problems” and forget about it.

Um, how about no?

Having experienced poor body image firsthand, seeing it everyday at school in my students and even in my friends and family, I see how body loathing can cripple the confidence and self worth of women and girls.

Today I watched the dismay on a friend’s face as she told me about her already-thin nine-year-old niece being happy over losing weight and “getting skinnier”.

Today another friend (who gets mistaken for a supermodel) was scared to go to a party where she knew the other girls would be skinnier than she.

This is why, when my friend says to me “no one cares” I wonder what world she’s living in. Because in my world, I have these reminders every day that women suffer under our culture’s narrow beauty standards, where fat is terrifying and even thin women fear their bodies because of other thinner women and because being fat is an ever looming threat. No one is immune to THE FAT! Haha. 

That’s why I think it’s so important to bring these issues out into the light and not be afraid to be fierce. Tess Munster posts a photo of herself in a bikini on Instagram and people freak out. It makes people uncomfortable, it attracts haters and concern trolling. I think it’s time to begin to ask ourselves why people react so strongly to these images. How is Tess Munster in a bikini taking away from your quality of life? That’s right. IT DOESN’T.

“The bodies we do not value, we fear” – Lesley Kinzel. Our culture does not value fat bodies, and so we fear them. Fear or jealousy is at the heart of hatred. Every time.

Thinness is not a virtue. It doesn’t make you a better person. And yet all my life I truly believed that I was inferior to anyone slimmer than me. 

Why, as a child, did I believe that? Why did I continue to believe that as a teenager, and even into my early twenties?

As women, our worth is very much linked to our appearance, and that is a crippling notion. One day, I might have a daughter who will have to navigate these cultural norms for herself, and I don’t want her to be discouraged and broken because of them. I don’t want her to see diet ads that say, “Lose weight now and get your life back”. I want her to know that being plus size doesn’t need to take away from your quality of life, your beauty and your worth. I don’t want her look upon plus size bodies with fear, but with acceptance. 

How can that happen if I just “get over it” and don’t talk about it?

Lesley Kinzel said in her book Two Whole Cakes, “We are told that being seen is the right of those who diet and exercise, who otherwise put effort into meeting the ideal, surgically if necessary, even if the ideal can never be met. How often have you heard someone say of a non-slender woman in a too-tight skirt or a too-revealing blouse, ‘No one wants to see that’? Her insistence on being seen is practically an assault…Standing out is an act of bravado.”

If you are a plus size blogger, don’t underestimate the power you have had in my life, and in the world. When we wear bikinis, bodycon, stripes and miniskirts, it’s resistance and fighting.

The other day I wore a crop top that said “F*CK FLATTERING”. I wore it to TGIF for Thursday night drinks. Before I even got to the bar, I sat in the car for about ten minutes TERRIFIED to get out. No one could have known that making that clothing choice was one of the bravest things I’ve ever done. I eventually took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. I kept my head down for the entire walk to the bar! My friends loved it and once I’d had a few drinks, I felt like I’d painted my face blue and could leap around the bar yelling “FREEDOM!” hahaha! It was powerful because it took courage.

So what am I trying to say?

“In reality, different bodies look, move, and function in different ways and difference itself ought not to be a source of shame. Yet cultural beauty standards seem hell-bent on erasing the unique quirks of these individual differences in favor of one body, one face, one skin tone, one ideal. One single point of comparison for us all” (Kinzel)

I wont accept that. I have no intention of setting up a crate and microphone in the mall and giving lectures, or being all like “hey, lets talk about beauty standards” with my friends. But what I am going to do is wear what I want without apology, encourage friends who verbalise their insecurities, keep writing a body positive blog and call out body shaming when I see it.

I’m sure as hell not going to just “get over it”.