There's a shop in Adelaide called Nadia's House of Serendipity and although a little pricey, it always has the most interesting and gorgeous vintage threads.
I purchased this dress from there last year and in my mind I call it my Safari Dress because the pattern and the breezy cotton fabric kind of lend itself to that image for me.
I was off to my sister's beauty salon to have my nails done and I threw this on because it was a hot day. Since last time I wore it, I've put on a little weight and I had this moment of dread pulling it over my head, as I wondered how it was going to look. Bizarelly enough, I actually loved how it looked a little more filled out! I like how it clings around my bum and hips!
When I was a little girl, my mother loved dressing me. I have a lot of memories of her pushing me into changing rooms at boutiques and throwing outfits over the door. I hated it! One of my primary school teachers told me, "You're always so beautifully dressed!" but I really didn't appreciate it and I always felt a little different to the other kids in my quirky secondhand "other era" threads.
I have to chuckle over that now. It's funny how things come full circle. Now she's the one telling me to stop shopping! and asking how many dresses do you have now, exactly?
Here's a photo of me when I was little wearing one of her "weird" outfits at a wedding. I hated this dress, by the way!
Now fast forward twenty years to this.
Dress: Etsy
Shoes: ASOS
Headband: Diva
Lipstick: Lime Crime
How amazing are these lace collars?
There's a bit of a sad story to this dress. I found it on Etsy. But it was a little too long for my liking so I took it to a tailor. When I got home with the dress, I was devastated. It's far too short and the hem is crooked. Because it's so short now, I can't even fix the crooked hem. I've since learned how to hem my own dresses (you can see how here) but alas, this dress is a casualty. I just can't love it in the same way. But I still try to wear it sometimes, mainly with tights. I included that last photo because I don't usually expose my legs without a spray tan, and I'm trying to relax about that.
By the way, have you read this month's Cleo? It seems to have come just in the nick of time considering my rant about Cosmo in the previous blog. Read Fashion Haley's blog about it here. It's definitely an encouraging read! That aside, it's actually a huge deal and is a major moment in history for us plus size girls!
I've seen them on other plus size blogs, but I so badly wanted my own post about them.
This one is called Fat Girl, by Megan Falley
This one is called 10 Thoughts On Being Loved By A Skinny Boy, by Rachel Wiley
In Rachel Wiley's poem, there's a line that says, "Cosmo, fuck you. I will not take sex tips from you on how to please a man you do not think I deserve." In another version of the poem she changes the line slightly to say, "I will not take sex tips from you on how to please a man that you do not think my body will ever be worthy of." This really confirms some thoughts I've had in the last week about the magazine that I'd like to share.
I've been buying Cosmo for the past two years. A week ago, after reading the latest issue (Dec 2012) I said to my boyfriend, "I don't think I'll buy Cosmo anymore." Confused, he asked me why. I'm still figuring out how to put this into words, but that last issue left a niggling feeling of anger that I've been trying to dissect. Truth be told, there are various reasons: After reading every issue for a year, it begins to repeat itself. The intense focus on sex and fashion starts to lack a certain "depth" that I'm starting to find boring. However, I could deal with that. I don't mind a bit of "light reading" now and again and can even dismiss the sight of Kim Kardashian on the cover, repeatedly. And sometimes I'd rather read about Looking Flawless Post-Flight over social justice issues.
But the real clincher had to do with some of the "sex tips". One of the tips in the article Your A to Z of Orgasms actually recommends faking an orgasm, advising women to not "underestimate the sense of worth it can give a man". A few pages on, in another article entitled 25 Sex Moves He Wishes You'd Do, one of the contributors says, "...it's even more of a turn on if you say something like, 'I can't wait to taste you.' Deep down, guys know semen isn't that appealing - so we love it when you make us feel as though it's the best thing ever."
How can I even begin to express how much these two "tips" pissed me off? Essentially, they both communicate the same message: A man's pleasure and orgasm is more important than a woman's; we're encouraged to fake orgasms and pretend that swallowing is akin to nectar of the gods. Maybe I'm overreacting, or maybe not. I know that's not necessarily a constant message within the pages of Cosmo, but really? Are the editors that strapped for sexy material?
Despite that, and in relation to fatness, I think it also comes back to what Rachel Wiley said: Cosmo does not make plus size girls feel valued. Fact. We are, for the most part, excluded from that magazine. I feel that by not representing women of different sizes, they are communicating the message that we are not as valued as size 8 girls. I believe this to be wrong. Women don't need to be disempowered and shamed any more than we already have been. I'm so sick of that aspirational ideology of women's magazines ("get flawless skin"; "get the body you deserve"; "make the most of your natural assets") because it promotes the belief that if we, as women, only "try harder", we will "make it", that we are the ones responsible for the "way we are"; we are to blame for being fat, and it's OUR fault; we don't deserve to be able to find clothes in our size in stores. We don't deserve to be heard. We don't deserve happiness, or boyfriends or great sex lives. We aren't equal to "regular" sized girls. Isn't that the subliminal message? Why are we so underrepresented in women's magazines when there's so many of us? It's not enough that "once in while" a plus size model will be "thrown in". On page 242 of the Dec 2012 Cosmo, they have a plus size model in a bathing suit that is clearly too small for her (her C cup breasts seem to be squeezed into what appears to be an A or B cup tankini!). And even at that, the suit is advertised to only go up to size 14. Thanks for throwing us that bone, Cosmo. I'm eternally grateful.
I am aware that Cosmo does occasionally include plus size models and feature body positive articles, but I just don't think it's enough.
Aside from Zoe Foster's monthly column in the magazine (which is brilliant, insightful, dignified, logical and self-affirming), I can honestly say that Cosmo holds no more appeal to me and that I've learned more about fashion, beauty and self-worth from plus size blogs in a week than I have from two years of reading Cosmo.
Pocahontas is my favourite Disney Princess. I've always had a bit of a girl crush on her; it's something about that long black hair, full pout, huge eyes and long legs. Not to mention, she gets to swan about all day in moccasins and bare feet, eating corn fritters and diving off cliffs into crystal clear lakes. I wanted her life, her confidence, her bravery. So when I saw this Indian headdress in Bonnie Wigs in Adelaide Arcade, the cogs in my mind started turning about putting together a Native American costume for upcoming Halloweens and fancy dress parties.
I found the dress on eBay. The brand is InCharacter, it's called Indian Maiden and comes in larger sizes as well. These photos were taken a year ago and I've gone up a dress size since then, so I might get my hands on the plus size version.
It came with some gorgeous accessories, such as leg warmers, a necklace, arm band, belt and feathered headband. I also wore this dress as Tiger Lilly to a Jinja Safari gig in Adelaide at Rocket Bar. One of their songs is called Peter Pan, so my friends and I dressed up for the occasion.
I can't even express how happy this costume made me! I think I felt more sexy (and comfortable) in this costume than any other outfit I've ever worn. There's something magical about dressing up, and there's so many plus size costumes out there these days.
