Enjoy the beach this summer?
"We can do it!"
Swimwear is a theme I've been hangin out for! This is a huge deal for me because of years of body shame that was heightened with childhood school swimming events and bullies who laughed at my body shape in swimsuits. I wish I could go back in time and punch those losers in the face instead of swallowing my shame and thinking I didn't deserve any better!
Because I rent a unit on the beach, swimming has been a bigger part of my life in the last few years. I had a pretty reluctant beginning - it always took my housemates a lot of convincing to get me down to the beach for a swim because I was quietly ashamed of my body.
This summer there's been a real shift in my confidence, so I've enjoyed the beach more than ever before! This Christmas, my extended family headed down to the beach in the late afternoon and one of my cousins said to me, "I've never seen anyone more glamourous in a bathing suit!"
I'm not gonna lie - this made me feel pretty smug. But I figure that's okay because I'm making up for the lost time when I felt embarassed instead of damn fine!
Despite
all that, whenever I toddle down to the beach, there's always a little
whisper of doubt and fear about what people might say. As a fatty, I'm
really on a journey of getting better at coaching myself into making
peace with my body. This swimsuit makes the job pretty easy.
I bought it online from Pin Up Girl Clothing. Called
the Bettie Swimsuit in Red Polka Dot, it goes up to a 2X (which I'm
wearing). It's the most stretchy and comfortable swimsuit I've ever
worn. I'm wearing it with the City Chic swim skirt (XL). I really
got into the pin up spirit of things and went with a cherry theme.
Bathers/Swimsuit: Pin Up Girl Clothing
Swim skirt: City Chic
Cherry Necklace: Ebay
Apple sunglasses: from a store called Bimbo on Rundle Street, Adelaide
Cherry Headscarfe: Etsy
You can imagine my joy and surprise when I later found this picture of April Flores wearing it.
While I wore a swim skirt with this suit on the beach, I'd like to get to a point where I feel confident enough to go without it. Here's a look at the whole suit without the skirt, lumpy legs and all!
Recently on Instagram, Tess Munster posted this up about her experiences with swimwear.
After reading this post, I was so inspired that I ordered a bikini from Domino Dollhouse. I had to go up a size because mine had sold out, so I really hope it fits when it arrives. I don't know if I'll have the guts to wear it on the beach just yet, but we'll see...
I'm so aware of the way people look at bikini clad women and make a judgement of whether their body is acceptable for it. "She really shouldn't be wearing that"; "No one wants to see that"; "She's too old for a bikini"...I'd just like to say that I don't give a shit who wears a bikini. I don't mind seeing men in speedos, and I don't care if a 70-year-old woman is wearing a bikini. Life's too short to care. Everyone has a right to feel free on the beach, to bask in the glow of the sun. I've realised that I'm never going to have a "bikini body". But when I read Tess Munster's post, I thought, am I okay with never experiencing my body in a bikini? Should I just accept I'll never have a bikini body and never buy one? My personality just doesn't allow for that. That would just eat at me. No one tells me what I can and cannot wear.
I wonder how it will look.
If you're a plus size girl reading this, have you ever worn a bikini in public? If so, was it a positive experience? If you haven't, would you ever do it?
Thanks for reading xo
